i don't know who any of us are anymore.
phat's out, cujo's in.
sara's leaving, elle's coming.
fleur's gone, val's here, but barely.

i've still got this lockboxskullofmine that doesn't want to see the light.
it argues and screams and pleads and gives up. the latter's for the better, while it lasts.
'i'll be okay, i'm getting better, things'll change. i promise.'
everyone thinks i'm trustworthy, but i can't even keep a promise to myself.







i'm starting to crash and burn like an ellen hopkins creation, and i don't know how to stop.

i'm counting down the days to school: five.
maybe i'm lying to myself; i'm not fine, and i'm not ready.
i'm going into high school with friends, but i honestly feel almost completely alone.
i'm afraid of what's in store for me. cigarettes, for sure. even more depression, drama, hurt.
drugs? self inhury? hate? love?